How not to be a JackAss with the Remote Control

So, you're on the couch. It is a normal weekday and you perch your dirty feet on the coffee table, grab your Sun Chips and are ready to watch some syndicated Seinfeld. But - uh oh - one of your roommates has the remote. If he/she is a JackAss they are probably breaking the following rules:

1) Just keep it on something.

Okay - if you're by yourself, feel free to satisfy your ADD and skip from channel to channel at your leisure. BUT, if you are lucky enough to have the remote in a room with a couple of people - just pick something and watch it- even if it sucks. Everyone knows there is nothing on, anyway. It is better to watch one whole something that sucks rather than catching 30 seconds of 50 things that suck.

2) Don't change the channel during the commercials because you ALWAYS forget to change it back.

If you haven't joined the 20th century and do not have TiVo or DVR - then you are forced to watch a little mercantile Americana (aka commercials). This blows, I know, but if I have to watch the first half of Heroes one more time only to have some JackAss change the channel because he lacks the patience of a 7 year old - I am going to freak out.

3) It's okay to watch Nova on PBS.

You shouldn't be alarmed if you find yourself stopping on PBS and getting into a Nova special about the planet Jupiter. Its okay- everyone in the room is into it too - I promise you.

4) Taking the remote into the bathroom with you is a pretty shitty thing to do.

Not only are we trying to figure out how you WON'T get germs on it, but if we are stuck having to watch something on the WB - we will hate you forever. If you find yourself in control of the remote and have to go to the bathroom you have 2 options.

a) give up the remote
b) entrust the remote to someone you KNOW will give it back or will at least "give you the comfy chair for it"

5) If a conversation starts in the room - don't turn the volume up on the TV.

Sorry if your friends are talking through your favorite episode of Quantum Leap - but trying to drown them out with volume will only single you out as the guy they hope doesn't renew the lease.




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