How not to be a Jackass at your Nephew's Graduation

Other than a baby shower, there is nothing worse than having to go to a distant relatives graduation. But that is no reason to make the event worse on the people around you. Understand these simple truths and you just might make it out with a little dignity.

1. No, you can't leave after his name has been called.

There is no graceful way to make an early exit. Suck it up and deal with the inevitability of the loss of 3 hours of your life.

2. Never give a pen as a graduation gift - only give money.

Do you remember graduating at all? Always give cash (not checks - those are too easy to use responsibly).

3. Don't point out the girls you "hope are 18".

This is the final step to becoming "that guy".

4. Don't draw on the program.

You are going to set it down someplace and forget where you left it. Do you really want your drawings of dive-bombing planes and stick figures with boobs lying around?

5. Don't take pictures of the graduation with your cell phone.

Nothing says "I don't care about this moment at all" than using what amounts to a novelty camera to capture the moment.