How not to be a Jackass with your Cell Phone

Never in American history has there been an invention that can so easily turn the average person into a Jackass than the cell phone. It can happen to any of us. Follow these rules to lessen the chances of being an idiot.

1. Never play a ring tone just for fun.

I don't care that you have the Super Mario Bros. theme song play whenever your boss calls. I am sure I will hear it many times, there is no reason to play if for me now.

2. Texting someone else while talking to me is kind of a dick move.

How often have you been engaged in a conversation with someone only to have them pull their phone out of their pocket and start pressing a mad series of buttons? Do they think that we don't notice?

3. Understand what you look like when you take a picture of yourself with your camera-phone.

You look like an asshole with your arm stretched out and your head thrown back. Not to mention how conceited you look letting everyone see that you want a picture of yourself for your phone's background.

4. Never be the only one with a cell phone out.

If you look around the room and you are the only one sifting through your backlog of text messages or playing the latest edition of Tetris, there is a good chance that everyone else in the room is making a mental not of what an ass you are.

5. A cell phone should never go off inappropriately more than once in any given situation.

Have you ever been in a meeting only to start hearing a midi rendition of the Starsky and Hutch theme? You look over to see Sally from accounting digging through her bag in an effort to stop the noise as quickly as possible. She does, but seems incredibly embarrassed. At this point - EVERYONE in the room should be silently checking to make sure their phone is on vibrate. If another persons phone makes a sound - immediately end the meeting and kick that person's ass.